Let Go Of The Wheel

     As a child, my parents made sure we were in church just about every Sunday.  I hated going to church.  My brother and I would try any excuse to get out of going.  We faked being sick,  we hid our shoes, we even tried hiding in the closet (still not sure how that one was supposed to fool anybody).  There were only 2 things I liked about church.  I liked the choir.  For whatever reason I have always loved gospel music.  The best part of church was the benediction, for 2 reasons.  My father was a deacon then, and he always did the benediction.  I loved seeing my father in the pulpit.  The other reason; the benediction meant it was time to get up outta there. What I didn't realize then was that seeds were being planted.  I didn't really pay attention to what was being said in church, but still seeds were being planted.
     There was a time when I believed that for as much as you read the Bible and tried to live according to it's principles, that you really only knew of God.  Like many of the characters of the Bible, you couldn't really know Him until you had an experience with Him.  Abraham, Moses, and down to  Paul.  God introduced Himself to His people. Remember,  this is what I believed. So I continued to read the Word hoping that God would one day introduce Himself to me.
     April 9, 1996 there was an ice storm here in Delaware. It was an unusual day, especially for me.  That evening I had experienced an unusual sense of calmness.  It was almost as if I had been drugged.  I could not, for the life of me, understand why I was feeling what I was feeling. That following morning I had to be at work at 6:30.  I raced off to work in a hurry as always.  I remember passing quite a few cars thinking that it was odd to see that many cars out at that time of the morning. Shortly after I had passed the crowd of cars, I hit a patch of ice. I had to be driving somewhere between 70-75mph. Accidents usually happen so fast that you don't have time to react. This time it was just the opposite.  It seemed as if time slowed to a crawl.  I had been trained to handle a vehicle during a slide. This time, I never reacted.  It felt like I was watching a movie of myself; like it was just an image of me in the car, but I wasn't in it. I found myself sitting in the car sliding across the highway, thinking to myself. I thought about the cars I had recently passed, wondering how close they were.  I looked up to see if I could see any coming.  I hit the guardrail head-on, bounced off, slid back across the highway and hit the guardrail on the other side of the highway(didn't want that one to feel left out).  When the car finally stopped, all four wheels were in the emergency lane and the cars I had passed were right there.  I was facing oncoming traffic. Still, there was no sense of panic of nervousness.  I sat there wondering how I was going to get to work. A gentleman asked me if I was okay, which I was. Miraculously,  I only had a bruise on my shin and a cut on my knuckle. I was not wearing a seatbelt.  When the police arrived I explained to him how I slid on the ice, but I could tell he was not buying it. Just as he began questioning me about how I really slid, a couple of cars starting sliding off the highway. You cannot tell me that God is not an on time God. The officer offered to take me to the hospital since I did not need an ambulance.  I asked him to take me to work instead.   He politely took me to the hospital. After that type of accident, he said there was no way he could take me anywhere but the hospital. Despite all of this, I was still as calm as ever.
    I thought that this was God's way of introducing Himself to me.  I believed that it was God who took control of that car and placed me out of harm's way.  After that, it was as if I could feel the presence of Jesus. I had never felt that close to Him before.  I remember feeling as if my life had changed and my focus was now on Him.
   Fourteen years later and I find myself thinking about that incident. As I replay it over and over again I can sense God saying to me now, "When your life was in peril, without having a chance to think, you did not panic.  You did not try to take matters into your own hand.  You let go and you let Me bring you to a place of safety.  Just as you let go of the wheel of that car, let go of the wheel of your life and let Me guide you." For all that I've seen, for all that i've read, for all that He has shown Himself to be over and over again, the easiest decision I could ever make seems to be the hardest. I keep asking myself time after time, why is it so hard to let go and completely submit to the will of God?  21I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. Romans 7:21-24. I am thoroughly convinced that the greatest war I will ever fight  is not with Satan, for he is a defeated foe.  My greatest battle is with my own flesh.
     I am going to end all of my posts from this moment forward with my favorite part, the benediction: Do good today, better tomorrow, seek to excel, and now may the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ rest, rule, and abide.  And our souls say.........Amen.